As we wrapup this year I want to share a few things I’m grateful for—which frankly are evergreen topics for me. This list isn’t even close to exhaustive, but it’s fun to share. 

I’ll be off from writing—unless something strikes my fancy—until January 2, so this will be a slight pause on things. Hoping you all have a fantastic time going into the holidays that are, and that will be. 

So, let’s get to it.

1. Writing

I’m thankful for writing, and for the fantastic readers who have followed along, reached out, and helped inspire me with feedback loops. Thank you. Writing helps me to think, and it’s partially why you’ll see a lot of topics bouncing around on here. It’s also partially why I’ve not had a desire to niche down yet into a specific topic.

Whether writing fiction or blog posts, I love the act of sitting down and putting thoughts to page. Because of my style of writing I don’t really plan things out ahead of time, but rather love to dive into a topic that’s either been on my mind for a while, or comes to me as the words leave my fingertips. 

Writing over the years has helped me find my voice, and helped me feel more comfortable with my words. This is something I hope to continually improve for the rest of my life. 

2. Reading

I learned to read at a later age. I was homeschooled and my mom wanted to hold off teaching me until I was eight. Up till that point she’d read stories to us most nights, and I learned to love hearing stories. As soon as I could read I jumped in with a healthy appetite. I poured through every book I could find, eager to learn the secrets inside. 

Not long after I found a book with all of Mark Twain’s published writings. I poured through it, often holding a flashlight up under my blankets to keep reading at night. 

I’ve had a lifelong love of reading, but more importantly, of absorbing stories; whether in audio format or in written form. 

I’m thankful to my mom for that, for encouraging that love. 

Now, years later, I do much of my long form “reading” on audio, switching between fiction and non-fiction every few months to keep things exciting. Because of this I carry AirPods on me at all times. 

One thing that has stood out to me for a while, and I share wherever I can, is that reading doesn’t have to feel like a chore. It’s not homework, it’s fun. 

If I’m not feeling a book I’ll pause it and put it down, and switch to another. While I tend to be frugal in general, this is one area where I don’t mind buying books quite often. I’ll give just about any topic a try. 

Now, I say I can put the book down at anytime, but that’s almost a trick; I do actually read through to the end often. I finish a lot of the books I start, but I’ll always start more than I’ll finish; and that’s ok. 

Some people feel the need to be completionist. I don’t believe that’s wrong at all, it works for some and if it’s working keep at it. But I’ve run across a lot of people who say they need to finish a book that they start, and the end result is they just stopped reading. 

That is a tragedy. 

For one close friend I encouraged them to just start any books and stop the moment they were bored. For them it worked beautifully. Coming out fo college they felt burned out from so much mandatory reading. To turn back to reading purely for the love of it reawakened the joy of reading for its own sake. 

3. Running

I love running. I’ve been hooked ever since my (now) father-in-law suggested we go on a 2 mile run back in 2007. Prior to that I’d tried it, but because of some childhood illnesses felt I was unsuited to the activity. While I don’t know that I could ever be a sprinter, going out on long slow jogs has become one of my favorite activities in life. 

My last marathon was a decade ago, but that doesn’t stop me from lacing up several times a week and going on 30-60 minute runs. 

Because much of my career has involved sitting in a chair I’m thankful for the short bursts where I can get out and just disappear onto a trail or road and enjoy the opening up of my world, the expanse of seeing beauty around me, and of course more time listening to books. 

Hopefully my body holds up and I can continue this until I’m in my 80s. For my last marathon I crossed the finish line with a woman in her 80s. She was starting to slow down, only doing a marathon a year. That inspires me. 

—

I thought this list would go elsewhere. I could say so much of the people I love and care for, of my friends and family, of my community. I’m thankful for so many and I hope all have a wonderful end of year. 

You can do a thing with haste or meaning. 

Just today I was sitting down to do my daily body and neck stretches. In the last month or so I’ve noticed an improvement in pain levels and generally feeling better in my neck; a huge win given a previous crash that’s caused issues for years. 

As I was doing my stretches today—which don’t take long, but do require attention—I found myself rushing through it. It’s not that I was rushing on the time, I still spend the thirty seconds or so per stretch, but I found myself wishing the time away and ready to move on. 

In listening to my body I realized I was stressed, the exact opposite of the point of the exercise. Thankfully I caught myself and paused, listened to my breathing, and continued with the stretches. 

So I continued, but with a different mindset, and perhaps with purpose. 

I’ve been thinking a lot about energy output and feedback loops.

For the last few days I’ve been reading The Rational Optimist. It’s an old book at this point, and perhaps it’s been greatly refuted in the time since it’s been published.

With that said, one point I’m loving is the value creation that comes from exchange. I make something and sell it for something else, and in a free market both buyer and seller will benefit. 

Getting feedback from the market on your idea helps to propel you forward wtih excitement, and leads to more innovation and growth. 

Not having that feedback leads to uncertainty and spiraling. 

And yet, even in the best of feedback loops, there’s can still come a sense of too much. 

In recent years I’ve started to develop a twitch in my eyes. This usually happens when I’m not sleeping well, recovering from some sickness, or spending too much time on screens.

There does come a limit, even when feedback loops are firing well, where too much is too much. When I was younger I could keep pushing longer. I even, much to my regret, pulled the occasional all nighter. The end result may have created a small gain of output, but ultimately led to fatigue that required resting. 

So what’s my point in all this? In the last few days I’ve been focusing on far more output than the baseline. That’s fine for a short period of time, and sometimes even worth it. 

However, last night I started to notice a blurring of my vision and a twitch in one of my eyes. That’s the telltale sign that I need to pull back a little bit, not push so hard, take a moment to rest and recover, and most of all find a way to not let the anxiety of the unknown overwhelm. 

When I don’t listen to this, when I keep pushing forward despite the warnings in my body, the inevitable result is always sickness. It’s been a lifelong affliction that a knock-me-out-flat cold is just a day or two away at any given moment. 

Listening to what I need, not pushing too hard all the time, taking time for rest, sleep, exercise, things outside of work; all these things lend toward a way of living that is built more for the longhaul than the short term. 

And so I’m looking to today, tomorrow, and the weeks ahead, and trying to gauge the energy output against the reward I hope to bring. 

It’s a day-to-day issue I struggle with. Some days I succeed and find just the right balance, but often I feel I’ve worn myself down and begin to dread the next day where I must do it all again. 

The surprising, at least to me, part of it all is that I still find joy and energy from the output of energy. I don’t mean that I wish to do nothing. On the contrary, periods of (absolutely essential) rest are often followed by energetic times of excitement and moving forward. 

And so, in this holiday season, I’m hoping to be kinder to myself, helpful toward others, and recognize that each of us have different reasons for why we expend energy and what we hope to gain from it. 

My continued plan for the coming year is to listen to what my body is saying, when it’s freaking out and yelling to pay attention, that I will pause and hear what it’s saying. 

Maybe the twitchyness is a blessing, maybe the blurriness is a good thing. It’s a reminder that we’re just human. 

I’m eschewing infinity wells.

I’m on a two month experiment to reduce my reliance on apps that allow for unlimited scrolling. It’s going mostly ok. If I can I’d like to turn this into a permanent experiment, but we’ll see how it goes. 

In the last few weeks I’ve slowly started to create new pathways in my brain. Instead of browsing Reddit endlessly, I find myself looking for any app to scratch the same itch. None do, of course. Instead I find myself refreshing email or the Reeder app, even though nothing is likely to show up 20 seconds after I last checked. But little by little I’m spending time on other things that I care about. 

When we have the option to consume forever, whether on TikTok, Reddit, Reels, etc., we run into a problem. As humans we were made for unending curiosity and creativity. We love that stuff. It’s what we live for (along with community, my third C in my eventual TED Talk). 

However, when we can consume forever it removes that itch, that twitch, that nervous energy to create. We feel like everything under the sun has been done, and better than we could ever do.

But that’s wrong.

Each of us have something we can bring, something beautiful we can riff on, something we can add to what came before.

It’s hard to do that, though, when we can hook up to the unlimited scroll or swipe mechanism that is mere seconds away at any time. 

There’s an alternative, though.

I keep a list of articles I’d like to write in an Apple Notes doc. I did a quick check and there’s over 800 topics I’ve thrown in that I’d like to write. This will never happen.

The list fills up faster than I can write.

And you know what? I love that. Instead of an infinity well of scrolling I’d like an infinite list of creating. 

Feeling worn out can come from factors such as sleep, diet, sickness, stages of life, and much more. There’s so many factors that can lead to just feeling plain tired. Also, it’s winter right now in the northern hemisphere. 

But there’s something else. 

In work, which is where we spend many of our waking hours, feeling a lack of energy comes less from how much we’ve worked and more from a lack of reward for our work.

The reward can come in many forms. Money, recognition, satisfying curiosity, or making someone’s day better. 

It’s important to have a reason for doing something, and to see that reason reflected quickly. Feedback loops help us know if we’re on the right track. I once worked on a project for nearly a year, and ultimately never had a real feedback loop (unless you count navel gazing) to know if I was on the right track. It was demoralizing, caused friction within the team, and led to little opportunity to grow. 

I’ve felt burnout before and it came not from the work I was putting in, but from a complete disconnect of appreciation for the work. That can be partially on the person doing the work and not putting their energy in the right place, of not understanding the signals that the direction they’re taking is wrong, but it can also come from a bunch of factors outside their control. 

So now I look for some sort of response to the inputs, something to show that I’m on the right track. 

In work you hope to see a direct connection between your inputs and revenue. That’s one of the clearest lines you can draw. 

However, in much of my career the connection has been muddy. And when that connection is muddy you run the risk of infighting, chaos, and burnout. 

When I feel a blocker in work, I look for a way to get a feedback loop, to know if I’m on the right track. I’ve had plenty of times over the years where the answer to that was unclear. When that happens I don’t just stop trying, but I also look for methods outside work to gain energy. 

Ironically, having great things happening in your life outside work often lend to a better attitude toward the blockers you might face during work. 

For me I’ve always tinkered with some side project. It’s fun to have some thing I’m playing with that’s a hobby, that brings joy, and satisfies my curiosity. I also try to make sure I get out and run as often as possible, try my best to get enough sleep, and eat healthy. That last one’s a bit tricky for me since I’ve had a lifelong sweet tooth, but frankly I feel there are worse vices. 

I’m such a fan of the book Essentialism, and it’s followup Effortless. In the beginning chapter a man is ready to give up on his job, but decides to stick it out and only say yes to the things he really can make an impact on. The result was one of the largest raises he’s ever had in his life (feels like Office Space). 

That story stuck with me, the fact that had he didn’t have anything to lose and decided to focus on where he was the best. 

Sometimes energy comes from doing a thing simply for its own sake, sometimes it comes from helping out someone else on a small project, whatever it takes find a place to get that energy. 

Also, remember that even if today isn’t great, tomorrow could be better. 

It’s easy to wish we had more time to get something done. Given more time we could accomplish anything.

But this is usually the wrong way to look at something.

In the constraints of lacking time we often come up with solutions. I work in software as a product designer, and in designing software I could always end up wanting more time. 

But the reality is I never quite know what’s going to work or not work; even after all these years of building things. There is always a point at which something should be shipped, sent out into the world for feedback, and given the chance to live on its own. 

Only in shipping something can we truly learn from it and see what’s working and not working. 

Keeping that precious thing locked up forever does nobody any good. It only gives the creator the false belief that it’s perfect or will become perfect. 

Finding that sweet spot of good enough, but slightly embarassing, is often what’s needed to learn and grow and build great things.

Early in my career I had a seemingly endless supply of energy to throw at ideas. If I wasn’t sure how to do something I could be sure that through hard work and time I could figure it out. 

This worked for many things, and was a huge boon to my desire to get good at my work and create things that were appreciated by potential customers or clients. 

Now, in what might be considered the middle part of my career, the energy is somewhat lessened (though not absent), but what I have are skills built on skills from nearly two decades of tinkering and learning and receiving validation in the marketplace. 

When I approach a project I can bring a mix of energy and knowledge, and an unending curiosity. Instead of throwing brute energy at the problem I can look for workarounds, time savers, drawing from what I’ve learned before. 

If I’m working on a problem, and in some ways I’ve done parts of that problem before, I can lean on the previous knowledge to shortcut the process and quickly get that part out of the way. 

There is, of course, some danger here. I could refuse to allow new or better ways to come in. I struggle all the time with the tension between what I know and what I want to learn. But with the right balance you can leverage your background and remaining energy to do some amazing things. 

Likes, subscriber numbers, revenue, analytics, these are all proxies for feedback loops. They help give you a sense of whether the thing you’re doing is resonating with people. 

They’re helpful, worth studying, but also come with a price. Focusing too much on these can drain you, leave you spending more time in trying to read through the obscure—and never quite enough—information laid out in front of you, and less time in building and making the thing that matters. 

Of course you rarely have the luxury to build on the side for years on end; usually that doesn’t end well for many reasons. 

But sometimes it’s good to have a little separation between your time creating and knowing whether it’s resonating. 

This, of course, goes against how many influencers are building. It could be your job to be the person that creates thumbnails and understands what it takes to get someone to click on a video and watch it. 

That is a thing that must exist in the world, and at some point many have to embrace it, but somewhere something feels lost in the midst of all that. 

So, seek out feedback, embrace it, but don’t make it the only thing. 

One day you work with someone on a project. Things go well, the project wraps up, and you go your separate ways. Years later someone asks for their help on something and they remember you, and reach out to see if you’re available. 

This is how connection happens. Someone remembered something good that you did and is happy to recommend you. 

Memories are long. 

When the new connection is made you’re not starting at zero. You’re temporarily starting in a valued position relative to the connector’s relationship to you and the new person. 

These kinds of points of contact happen all the time, and they’re amazing. 

They can also go the opposite direction. 

A project goes south, you’re having a bad day, or your words got misrepresented. Those you hear less of. It’s hard to know the opportunities missed. 

Learn from both, and keep pushing forward. For some people you’re probably alright not having your name recommended. You don’t even like everybody, so it’s ok if not everybody likes you.

But, the beauty of all this is, sometimes a new connection happens because of an old connection, and in that moment you feel the positive energy of possibility, anything could happen.

As a followup to my complaints on good editing software for my writing process, I’m wondering if I’m thinking about this whole thing the wrong way. Maybe instead of counting on software, I should listen to my own words and just edit what I’m writing more closely. 

I was struck by a recent podcast with Gruber (I apologize I can’t remember which one, I listen to too many podcasts) where he shared that he doesn’t use any software to edit his work. He just edits it himself. 

This works for him because he’s good at writing, and comfortable with the rules of writing. That’s not to say he’s perfect, I’ve emailed him a few times over the years for quick grammar and spelling fixes. But it’s good enough and it fits into his process. 

I’m wondering if, instead of forcing software to work how I want, I just slow down and edit my own work. The only thing I want to be mindful of is improvement. I don’t want to get stuck in how I write and not learn and grow. When I wrote fiction for a few years, I ran everything through ProWritingAid. As a result I started improving on my grammar. I want to make sure that continues. 

So, either way, if you see a word messed up in here feel free to email me. But I’ll work on improvement over time. 

Some actors and athletes watch their tapes. They review everything they did to understand and improve. They want to see their performance and find a way to take it forward. 

That’s a good thing.

Others, though, and somewhat famously don’t (until they do). 

In some areas of my life I’ve grown comfortable reviewing my work and improving it. For over a year I edited one of my podcasts. I never liked listening to my voice, but editing your work for a year will force you to hear your voice hours on end.

The result is I got used to my voice and no longer cringe when I hear myself speaking. I’m comfortable with it, and occasionally even proud of what I said. 

Because of the editing process I got better. I learned to self-edit some of my stutters, to slow down (a little) and speak with purpose. It wasn’t fun, but getting used to myself and voice has helped a lot.

I can’t say the same yet with video. If I see myself on video, I feel myself want to disappear inside. It’s not comfortable. Maybe I should embrace that though. Improvement requires reflection. 

Something strange is starting to happen as a result of all my writing. I don’t want to naval gaze too much since that’s not why you’re here, but I find this part interesting enough to share. 

Because I’ve been writing posts on lots of topics that come to mind, I’m finding that when I have a followup thought or something else related to what I wrote before, often I’ll be able to reference what I wrote earlier. It’s almost like this blog, and the many podcasts I’ve tested over the years, have become a second brain of sorts, a place of reference and archive. 

It’s wonderful. In my daily life I use a todo list and live off of it. I have Things 3 as a widget on my watch and iPhone, and keep it open most of the day on my Mac while working. It represents me. If a thing isn’t on the list it’s probably not part of my life. 

Now, with this blog, it’s becoming somewhat similar. If I’m not writing about a thing it’s because it’s not baked yet, or because it doesn’t reach the level of importance yet to talk about. There are, of course, topics I won’t discuss. But overall I’m loving the idea of the second brain here. 

A friend and I have been testing a new format for a podcast recently. I haven’t written about it yet because it’s still been in the playing around territory. But 35 episodes in and I think we might be on to something. Instead of getting together live and recording, we create async podcasts and send them over to each other. It’s fun, they’re short and quick, and we have developed a great method for followup and sharing new ideas.

I was struck today by something Saadia shared on the last episode. This matches what I’ve heard other podcasts say, that writing is thinking. When you write something down you generate ideas in your mind and develop the thought more deeply.

I find that writing and talking about a thing help to solidify it in my mind. Sometimes I talk about something on a podcast and it gets into my brain and inspires me to write. Other times what I’ve written turns into a podcast topic. 

Either way the creative act helps to build ideas and form them. Without the time to sit down and create I feel like my brain will atrophy. 

If you’re unsure about the benefits of writing, or some similar creative work, I can happily share that nothing but good has come from it for me. 

Each day has a limit. Sometimes you can predict when you’ve hit it, but more often than not you’re surprised. You thought you could do more, thought there was more time, more energy, more of something.

But then the end of the day approaches and you have to make a decision. You can keep going at the thing you were doing, or you can put it up for the next day. The third option is to pause, then come back. 

Over the last few years I’ve leaned toward pausing and coming back fresh. Doing so creates a forcing function. You have to get something done because you won’t just work on it forever. The end of the day is coming, wrap it up. 

You also know that you’re never too far from stopping, from spending time with people you love, from taking a break. 

That’s not to say there aren’t periods of time where you stay at it longer. I’ve done plenty of that. But it’s rarely worth it. 

Stopping and coming back the next day also lends toward a healthier response to work in the long run. 

I’ll keep experimenting with this. 

Recently, our family went on a cruise in the Caribbean with friends. I opted not to pay for internet or cell phone reception for most of the trip. We did have limited Wi-Fi at times, but it wasn’t good enough to rely on.

This forced us back into a 90s-style of communication. We used the phones in our rooms to call each other and plan where we’d meet up. Our times and locations were vague: “Meet at this part of the ship around this time.” 

And it worked. 

We were on vacation after all. 

I am not ready to give up my phone and love the connection possibilities it offers. But for a few days, it felt good to go back to an era I remember from my childhood. 

Not having instant access to the internet at any given moment has its downsides. One of the biggest for me was not being able to look up the answer to a question at a moment’s notice. 

But the upside is you start to pull out your phone less often. You, in theory at least, focus on the world around you, the people, the realness outside of the digital. 

That’s nice, and I want more of it. 

Spend enough time at any organization, and you’ll start to fall into the trap of speaking in jargon. Whether it’s acronyms or initialisms, we love to throw around terms that define a whole host of sub-ideas. A sentence composed of industry terms can be incredibly dense and spoken quickly. 

That’s not always bad. But it is limiting. 

The jargon we use can start to have cross-pollination across team members. But it’s slow, confusing, and makes it very hard for someone new to get up to speed. 

The last thing a new person wants is to be part of a team for months and quietly admit they don’t know all the terms slung around. That can also be on that person to ask, but not everyone will.

It’s a problem none of us are immune to, but when possible, take a moment and say the thing you mean, then you can add the three-letter term at the end. 

This is a question we ask of everyone in an organization. We want to place them, figure out the walls that makeup who they are and what they do as opposed to others. 

But, in almost all cases, it’s not that clear. A designer might also code. A programmer might also design. A product person might also do sales. 

People are not the whole sum of a statement that they’d make in an elevator. They’re so much more. 

Every child is an artist, but most adults do not claim that title. 

For children it’s different, they can be a bit of everything.

Now, this isn’t to say there isn’t value in expertise, digging deep, and focusing on a career. On the contrary much of the joy in my work has come from being good at specific, role based, tasks. 

But each person is more than just that, and when we spend a few minutes digging in we’ll uncover so much more than the title they write on a resume. 

On a recent episode of We Can Do Hard Things, Nov. 19, the guest shared an idea that’s stuck with me.

Living involves human entanglement, being connected with others through messy, imperfect, wonderful threads.

Our greatest joys and discouragements come from those around us, those we live with, work with, try to figure out what it means to be human with.

So many elements of life are a mystery to me, and that’s part of the joy. Trying to uncover how things work, how people work, how the world itself works.

Friendships and human connection are messy, and to start to figure them out and work through them is a way of bringing just a tiny bit of meaning into our lives.

I find joy in being seen, knowing that something I did was meaningful to someone else. I also find joy in seeing others strive through a thing, solve a thing, move forward.

These messy entanglements are messy, but wonderful. 

Figma just announced a raise of prices on all their plans. It’s roughly a 20% increase and I’m struggling a bit with it. I’ll pay it, sure. It’s something I need, but boy does it feel like everything’s going up. 

I can’t wait for the day that I no longer need lightning cables in my life. 

They were such a great technology. Worlds apart from USB-A and USB-C. Easy to plug in, small and compact (but unfortunately also prone to breaking no matter the brand) and for a time near universal. 

But now in the USB-C world I can’t wait till everything goes that direction, and I’ll be able to use a single cord for all my devices.