Being a guide instead of the hero

Who knows, people may want to join with other people if they’re treated well.

Via Ruben Schade.

Though Ruben makes this point because of national border disputes, I agree with it for another reason.

Coercion doesn’t work.

Short term you can force people to do as you say, but out of resentment and not appreciation.

If you tell someone they must do a thing, even if that thing is for their own good, they’ll question why you’re forcing them. If it’s so good why is it mandatory?

This may be why I’ve pushed back on being a manager most of my life.

I don’t want to force anyone. Instead I prefer to inspire, coach, guide, and be the Yoda to someone else’s Luke.

I don’t need to be the hero in someone’s story, I’m the little odd dude in the corner sharing ideas and letting them find their own path.

And here’s the beautiful thing. When someone finds their path and moves forward, it’s because of them; not me. They chose to do it. I helped. I didn’t force. It’s not my story to own, it’s theirs.

Each day I try more and more to lean into this approach.

It’s the right way, it’s the only way.

Some days I fail, but I keep coming back to it as a guiding principle in my life.