For a while I thought something was wrong with me. I wanted to make myself available for meeting with people everytime someone asked. The world is full of so many kind, interesting, challenging, wonderful, frustrating, curious, loving, people. So I’ve tried, tried to always accomodate people who wanted to connect. Why wouldn’t I? People are amazing, the more time I spend with folks the better.
Then I realized something. Connection, curiosity, creativity; these three things are the foundation of who I am. I love spending time with people, it fuelds me and feeds me, and I enjoy making an impact in the lives of others. However, I’m only truly me if I’m balanced out with the other two parts of the equation. If I spend all my time connecting with people, then I don’t have any time left to be be me, to explore the things I love, to live, to think, to create.
So, if I hesitate to connect syncronously with someone it’s because I’m trying to weigh the balance of all three of those. It’s not perfect, and I’m still trying to figure out how to do it right, but too much of connection means not enough for the other parts that make me who I am.
One trick that somewhat helps is to go asyncronus where possible. I love to record short videos on Loom and shoot them to someone; I enjoy using text, or audio messages. Even Marco Polo has its charms (despite the most infuriating of user experiences). Async is such a gift and I make use of it when I can as a default. I can add time to my week to reach out to people I care for in an async way, without having to plan it directly into the calendar. It’s such a joy and I use it as much as I can while trying to navigate how much syncronous time I have available.