Adapting to the hedonic treadmill

It won't always be this hard.

That hurdle you're facing, that overwhelming sense of impossibility, will pass.

The anxiousness you feel when considering the weight of decisions, events, and responsibilities in the coming days, weeks, and years, will shift.

The hedonic treadmill is an idea from a psychology book I read years ago.

As humans, we're able to adapt to harder times. A thing that was impossible becomes possible, and a task that challenged us to our very core merely becomes a rote activity. Progression, and the moving passage of time—along with our ability to adapt—makes things seem less consequential as we move forward.

As a teen, I couldn't imagine my life being more busy. As a husband, father, entrepreneur, podcaster, writer, and product designer for my day job, life is abundantly more busy than when I had to decide whether to study for an English test or play a video game.¹

And yet I've adapted.

I feel less stress now than in times past where I had objectively less to do. Growth, learnings, and the hedonic treadmill have condensed all that chaos into bite-sized things that I'm mostly able to manage on a regular basis.²

This change in viewing the world, seeing the events that will unfold as less than world-ending, has helped shape how I encounter tasks on a daily basis.

Sometimes it's too much, and I give in to the chaos. But more often than not—especially as I get older and work my way through more and more situations that didn't end in catastrophe—I see a challenge as just that. It's an opportunity to watch what will happen, adjust as needed, and recognize that what I'm dreading will rarely go as wrong as imagined.

To give an incredibly trite example, I recently woke up with a sore throat. This has been a common occurrence for as long as I can remember. I've been cursed (or maybe blessed if I squint and look at it from the right angle) with a crappy immune system most of my life. From childhood till now, I've had reoccurring (almost every other month) sicknesses. Usually, it's a sore throat, followed by head, and chest symptoms, and fatigue.

Last week, the first symptom rolled around, and I felt a slight bit of discomfort in one of my tonsils.³ I drank a ton of water, went through all the normal motions of trying to avoid getting sick, and boom. The next day, I had a full-on sore throat. It may or may not be a coincidence that I'd slightly regressed on my reducing-sugar pledge. Yeah probably not.

At that point, I had a decision to make. I could embrace the despair, accept my man cold, and be knocked out for three days straight. Or I could try for something different and work through it without brute forcing the energy I didn't have. I opted for the latter.

I felt the pain, accepted the fatigue and discomfort, and just kept moving through the days. I didn't do everything full tilt, but instead backed off a bit and accomplished the tasks that really needed doing. I recognized what was possible, rested where needed, and kept moving forward.

In times past, I would have viewed a sore throat as an omen for the worst. I'd be in bed, would have to cancel everything I’d planned, and life would go from miserable to five-alarm fire (I tend to have a flair for the dramatic in case you haven't guessed).

But this time, I just accepted the suckiness of the situation, adjusted where needed, and kept moving. I had to take some naps, had to sleep in a few days (I'm grateful to my co-workers and family for the flexibility), had to take a bunch of medication to work through it, and thankfully came out on the other end mostly intact.

Now, on Monday afternoon, I'm at 95%, and thankful.

This all might seem a bit trite. But coming from someone who has had to deal with sickness for a lifetime, it was a small miracle to walk through the stupid sickness cycle I typically face and ultimately mostly continue to go about my day.

This is a small reminder of recognizing that a challenge doesn't have to become impossible. Often we can meet the obstacle, or find a way through it. Sounds like an interesting book title.

^{1. In case you're wondering, the video game usually won out. I am happy to give you a starter course on my favorite RPG and Strategy games from the late nineties to early aughts.}

^{2. I say this as someone who has had their fair share of doing too much and having to pull back. I've been burnt out, dealt with depression, struggled through anxiety, and ultimately worked it through with the love of those around me, and finding a community that uplifts instead of destroys.}

^{3. In case you're curious, the right side decided years ago to grow up and outclass the other, so that they have a clear hierarchy. One almost normal and not weird-looking, and the other could be a brother to the Hulk.}

^{4. Although if you ask my wife, she'd probably say I was mostly useless over the weekend, which is true. But at least I was out of bed and able to hang out with the family. A low bar, yes.}