Infinity wells destroy anticipation

Tomorrow is the end of a month without Infinity Wells.

Well, not entirely. I cheated.

I downloaded Stardew Valley on my iPad mini, one of the best games I’ve ever played. I allowed myself to play it in the evenings and sometimes afternoons. That mostly worked since I was on vacation during Thanksgiving break and had time to relax with the family.

For the last month, I haven’t had access to most of the Infinity Wells I’ve grown used to. That’s included YouTube (with a few minor exceptions), Reddit (except when I’m Googling a specific question and include Reddit at the end), Instagram, Threads, Mastodon, even LinkedIn. I’ve also (again for the most part) not watched movies or shows on my own.

I’ve noticed a few interesting things as a result.

First, I still feel that itch in my fingers to switch to an app and start reading something, anything, new. Several times throughout each week, and sometimes in the same day, I found myself typing in Reddit and loading the home screen. As the screen loaded, I caught myself and switched away. I wanted something new, something to catch my brain, grab my attention.

What I allowed myself instead was to go to the Reeder app. It is not an Infinity Well. It contains RSS feeds of some blogs I enjoy reading. It doesn’t update by the second, minute, or sometimes even by the hour. But I allowed myself to go there and check, dozens of times a day. In a way that partially satisfied that desire to do something with an app that might trigger new content.

Because I didn’t have instant access to information I craved, I found myself doing just a little bit more thinking. If I woke up earlier than expected, I’d just lay in bed and think about things. In small moments throughout the day, I let my brain wander. As a result, I’ve had time to imagine some new versions of me, where I want to go, what I want to do.

I’ve also spent more time texting friends, looking for connection points, checking in. I find those interactions far more meaningful than scrolling through a friend’s social media content.

As a child, I had a lot of time to think and ponder. That led to my career and ultimately defined who I am. It’s not that I didn’t absorb information, but I had time to be bored.

The last month has been a little bit more of that.

Now I find myself ready to turn on the spickets, and I wonder if anything meaningful will change. This isn’t the first time I’ve done this. In fact, it’s the third time in seven years. Each time I’ve appreciated it and found myself so grateful and wishing it wouldn’t end.

This is something I’m wondering now. I could just continue on and not stop. Part of me wants that at the deepest levels of my core. As Cal Newport suggested, just disconnecting from all social media and infinity wells in general is a great way to become more creative.

But there’s a reason I hesitate.

Loading up social media and Reddit is, of course, a lot of fun for me. I enjoy the content and seeing what people are creating and throwing around. It’s a form of entertainment for me; and, hidden in all that, I’ve found friends, career opportunities, and new ideas that helped spur my own ways of thinking.

I want the thrill of new content flooding my brain. But I also want something more.

The bigger reason I’m going to log back into all the social media platforms is I’m worried about the connection opportunities I may miss by not being available. I wonder if I’d limit my long-term growth by not being available on all those platforms.

I can find a way around the desire for new information on a moment-by-moment basis. Audible, Kindle, Podcasts, Reeder, these apps have done wonders for allowing me to digest information in long form and still feel connected to topics I care about.

I could really see myself continuing this infinity wells fast for longer. But our lives are so intertwined by social media that I wonder if I’d be a step behind in society.

In the last month, I’ve had multiple occasions where I know a friend sent me a meme, video, or link on a social media platform, and I’m just not there. I can, of course, train my friends to use other ways.

So here I am, debating the value I’d gain from infinity wells against the cost to my creativity and time to ponder. I want to be disconnected from the unhelpful and connected to the meaningful. In the last month, I’ve felt more alive, imagined my life in different ways, and had new ideas.

Ideas are fleeting and rarely worth anything, but to have them is to hope, is to be human. And without them, it’s easy to just feel like we’re part of a current, floating along with everyone else, not having anything original to think or say.