Missing texts

We’ve all had that friend. We text them and they never ghost us. Days, weeks, or months later there’s an awkward exchange where they apologize for not following up, and assure you they forgot.

I used to think this was some grand coverup. Others were intentionally leaving me in the lurch, choosing not to respond and relishing how they were withholding key information from me.

Too much time was spent agonizing sent messages, wondering why that person hadn’t responded, and what I could do to improve the craft of my words.

Sure, a few times I might have been right. And maybe I was more annoying back then in how I sent messages (hopefully that’s a past tense type of statement).

But then I realized something. And I say this a bit tongue in cheek. I realized that others weren’t thinking about my messages as much as I’d thought about them.

I believed people were intentionally not responding to my texts, and couldn’t understand how anyone could be so callous.

Until it happened to me.

I prided myself on a perfect record of receive and response. If someone emailed me or texted me I’d followed up promptly and with a well thought out message. It was part of who I was. In my head I was someone who writes well and responds appropriately.

But life gets busy.

Occassionally I just missed on following up, and somehow months later remembered I hadn’t responded. I felt bad, and wondered if I’d left that person in the lurch. I also wondered if there were messages I’d never followed up on and forgot about completely.

Then I realized we’re mostly just trying our best to stay afloat amidst the choas of this world. Yes, I think there is a responsibility still to respond, but sometimes that’s just not possible.

Now I do my best to respond where I can, hope for grace where I can’t, and assume the best from others when they don’t get back to me. In fact, I’ve gone so far the other direction I often forget when I’ve messaged someone, not worrying if they have a followup or not.