Needy television

For years I had a strict rule against allowing dumb television into our home. I still do.

Now I’m not talking about cheesy or soapy dramas (I’m a sucker for them on occasion). I’m talking about things with no redeeming value, built only to draw you in without the goal of telling a story.

It took a while to figure out why such shows bothered me so much.

I’d steer my kids away from the subpar stuff, and point them towards better quality. It wasn’t that the ulterior content needed to have a good message, or be Mr. Rogers (although Daniel Tiger is fantastic), but rather that shows should have a rhythm to how they tell a story.

And though I’d love to say our kids have grown up watching nothing but PBS (although we initially tried that angle), there’s been a principle at play that we’ve tried to develop over time. We’re constantly evaluating, somewhat with their feedback as they’ve aged—whether shows fit above the the quality and rhythm bar we expect. Even looking back at my childhood—my brothers and I loved Arthur and Magic School Bus alongside Beast Machines and Dragon Ball Z. Some of the greatest moments came from shows that our mom would have preferred we stay away from.

With that said, take some random crappy YouTuber’s content for kids—note here that I don’t think all YouTube content falls into this category, but much does. I love some of the amazing work of creators online, for kids and adults alike; but let’s be real, so much of it is engagement bait—it has a specific way of ratcheting up your attention. Every second is yelling, shouting, pulling at the kids attention (and by extension the poor adults in the same living space). It says, look at me, pay mind to this, click here, like and subscribe. This isn’t even talking about the stuff that is just shoddy quality in every way; but rather the things that were produced just good enough, with the intent to engage on attention and nothing more.

What’s needed is ebb and flow.

We need tension built and tension released. A junk show pushes everything on you at once.

And this creates an inability to allow a story to breath. All your attention is pulled to the shiny thing, without being able to think through deeper implications. This is where the joy of a great movie or prestige television show finally coming around to a great finale are so rewarding (here’s to hoping with Episode 7 of The Last of Us, the episode last night was amazing). The times of build up can make the payoff worth it.

Bluey is a great example of a show that’s short, but not fast paced.

It’s funny, whimsical, has incredible themes and storytelling, explains the ups and downs of parenting for children and grownups alike, is beautifully illustrated, and does all this in seven minutes. It is nothing like (and here I’m not namin gnames, but insert whatever comes to mind) the detritus served up to us on TikTok, Instagram, YouTube, and the like.

Again, we don’t need everything to be high quality. With meals I love the occasional fast food. But if that’s my only diet I tend to get sick.

What we watch also doesn’t have to be incredibly produced (though that’s always a bonus). Some video creators are building great work, often at low production values, without assuming a lack of intelligence on the part of the audience.

My definition for what constitutes a good show is still developing. My wife and I began to build a vocabularly  for what was worth watching. We explained to the kids this concept, that we want shows to have a calmness followed by drama. A streamer on YouTube yelling at you the whole time isn’t the kind of content we're interested in our kids seeing.

Now, this might sound like a old man take. Each generation has new things they like, and the generations after view it as uncouth.

There are numerous shows that I’m not particularly a fan of, but don’t mind if my kids watch. Both our kids enjoy shows that don’t have me in mind as the target audience—but I can see the story they’re telling. These shows have buildup, character development, times of chaos, and times to ponder (if only for a short moment).

My wife and I have plenty of rules in our house, but as the kids grow our goal is to always have a reasoned explanation for the decisions we make—and if by chance something was arbitrary we called it out as such. In the genre of watching we initially said no to fast, crazy, shows. But now in the evolving language, it’s a bit of a “let’s watch more things like ABC, and less like XYZ” now.

Is that completely fair? No. But we’re trying to educate along the way, and separate what is silly (but harmless) from what is dumb (and attention destroying).