Pits in our stomach

Sunday nights are a funny time. You’re thinking about the week ahead, enjoying time with your family, and either looking forward to the start on Monday or nervous about diving into things.

You’re not there yet, but you’re already there in your mind. For years my wife could tell if I was nervous about Monday just based on my anxiety levels on Sunday night.

Something about ticking into the afternoon the day before work would ramp up the concerns about the unknown, about what the next twenty-four hours would bring.

Tuesday nights, by comparison, were vastly different, and generally better, each night improving in my mind until the weekend.

I’ve been privileged to have a contrast where in some work I do not have those feelings of uncertainty, and look to Monday with a sense of peace, or sometimes anticipation.

Because I’ve had both experiences I’m able to examine where the strong feelings come from, and also look at what I can do about them. If you’re ever in a situation where you feel nervous on Sunday night, here are some things that may help.

First, sit with your concerns. It’s ok to acknowledge that you feel uncertain, unsteady, not knowing what the future brings. It may not be rational, but it’s true to your brain. Denying it doesn’t help. Shoving it deep down encourages resurfacing the emotions, only stronger.

Second, figure out the source of the concern. For me it’s been a mixture of things. Sometimes it’s a skill gap, where I don’t quite know how to do the tasks expected of me, or that I expect of myself. Other times it’s communication gaps, where you need to navigate what others need and match those against what you need and can provide.

Third, embrace the worst case scenario. Think about the worst thing could happen, however unlikely, and work backward from there. It’s freeing to realize that, even in the worst case scenario, you’re probably going to be ok.

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Now, all these things said, many days none of these thought exercises truly removed the pit, the feeling of concern and anxiety. Exercise helps, good sleep helps, finding things to appreciate and enjoy helps. But ultimately the single ingredient that removed anxiety has been clarity on what I’ll be tackling on a Monday, and market proven certainty that I’ve historically been able to take it on and accomplish my intended tasks.

Of course we rarely exist in a vacuum. Even if you’re an indie app developer you still have customers that you need to satisfy, and metrics you need to move in order to maintain income.

The other element of it, whether it’s colleagues you engage with, clients or customers that you need to support, requires navigating alongside people, understanding their concerns, and sitting down to address them.

I’ve had times in my life where I couldn’t figure out the people element part of it. But I’ve also had times where it’s gone so well, where I connected to my colleagues and was able to be part of the team, quirks and all. When that happens, and you’re able to meet the skill requirements needed, then work can be a delight.

So, if you are sitting with anxiety and concern and uncertainty, it may be as a result of skills or people, or it could be something else entirely; a market shifting piece outside of your control (boy have I had those as well).

Thankfully we exist in a moving space. Things don’t sit still, they move forward. Sometimes for the worse, but sometimes for the better. Embracing that, finding time to do the things we enjoy and be with the people we love, will help us see the true meaning of living as we make a living.