Skill and luck

I’ve long pondered the connection between effort applied and sheer chance in shaping the success of someone’s life.

It’s a mix between the two that shapes the direction we take as we grow. My brother recently shared an excellent post on this topic, and it’s something I’ve been thinking about.

I can’t let the question go, as it’s something I’ve wrestled with for years in my own mind. Why do some people, seamingly out of no where, seem to jump ahead in the imaginery horse race we all move through in our lives. Why do other people seem to never get ahead, and instead find themselves off the tracks entirely.

Part of me posits that many of the circumstances are just out of our control. It’s not up to us where and when we’re born. We don’t decide which families we join, and who is looking out for us from day one.

Even for my own children it’s impossible for them to experience, or fully imagine, the life I grew up in. I also couldn’t have imagined their lives as a child. It’s different. The times, place, and situations around our childhoods aren’t comparable, despite the obvious family bond.

And yet.

I see people I admire for their grit, determination, and nonstop desire to just make things happen. What I’m curious about is the common thread between them.

I know this isn’t new. It’s a topic often discussed by greater minds, and the subject of countless books and talks.

But I feel like I haven’t internalized it yet. I have a cursory understanding of what it takes to be successful, seeing all the pieces, but don’t yet know how to put them together in a way I could explain to my children, or anyone in general who is looking.

Here then, are some of the elements of success I’m aware of.

An eager and curious mind - Someone who is just open to trying things, curious about the world around them, and dives into things with an attitude of openness. Given two people I must choose from, the person who seems most interested in the thing, energetic and willing to dive in, is the one I’ll often pick. Of course someone could be fully incompetent while selling themselves as capable. I’m not talking here of someone fully faking what they’re capable of. Sometimes a quiet confidence is better. But still, given all factors the openness generally wins out.

Humility - A person who believes they know everything shows themselves unwilling to learn. And that is a hard mindset to work with. I do want a person confident enough to show that they can handle something, but I don’t mind anytime they admit they don’t know. Humbleness is a wonderful attribute (not to be confused with false modesty which I feel I have a basic grasp of) and one worth looking for in soemone that you’d want to invest in.

Helping hands - A person who becomes successful has others looking out for them, and willing to lend a helping hand where needed. I’ve seen it in my own life, and been able to offer it in the lives of a few others. The idea that a successful person just pulled themselves up by their bootstraps and figured it out on their own is just not true. Behind success is a line of giving people willing them forward, pushing for them to make it work.

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With those elements in place I then have to consider where luck plays in, and how much of the remainder comes down to just working harder than others, pushing harder, applying energy in the right direction.

With all that said, the question remains. What’s the point of all this? Success might be defined in a bunch of ways, but if a life well lived is defined by connection, autonomy, and opportunity, then one person’s success isn’t the same as another.

I’m incredibly grateful for my life, my loved ones, my career, and so many wonderful things. It’s not the same as someone else I might compare to, but it’s a beautiful amazing thing that I need to spend more time being thankful for.

I’m going to keep pulling this thread and try to understand for myself how the elements of success come together.