Speaking past each other

Over the weekend our family drove to Seattle and back. That was a long trip, and many wonderful things happened.

On the way, though, we listened to a podcast. In this case it’s something super geeky and interesting to only a few, but if you’re curious it was a series on a historical event in my church. We made it roughly eight hours into the podcast and were riveted by the story. I’m hoping to finish this week.

Today, reflecting on the journey across Washington as well as the journey through time, I’m struck by how people argue opposing points. Much of the time we’re less interested in rebutting the actual things mentioned by the other person, and more interested in what it means to us to disagree or agree.

If you say something I don’t agree with, and if I don’t have a point to address that, I’ll likely lash out at something else entirely and challenge your motives or whether you belong at all.

This is of course the wrong way to do it, and I’m trying to get better at it. But it’s such a common human trait, that I’m struck by the tribalism so many of us fall into. Us versus them, you’re out and I’m in, you’re wrong and I’m right.

So this topic, unlike say something related to US politics for Americans, isn’t strikingly relevant or interesting to most people. But it helps me see the contrasts across people that you’d think should get along but don’t.

While I care about determining the truth of a matter—why else would I spend twelve hours on a topic when I could be listening to other things—I’m more interested in how I approach us versus them topics going forward. Can I have grace and kindness toward my fellow humans, and see them for what they mostly are—earnest people trying to find their way through life.