Truth isn't forced

Alright, so one my personal pet peeves is the idea that being right requires forcing your views.

Too often we resort to coercion, trying to convince someone else that our way makes sense. We justify in our mind that it was the correct thing to make someone do a thing our way.

This is how every super hero movie ends. At the end of the day the good guy has to stop the bad guy, using force if necessary.

As a teen I cheered on Théoden as he charged across the open land, 6,000 horses at his back, intent on stopping the evil threatenening to overtake Middle-Earth. It makes for great drama, and it’s how our world has operated from the dawn of antiquity, minus the oliphaunts. Battles fought and lost. As a fan of history I’ve wished the right side to win at all costs. This exists all around us, so I’m not blind to the reality of one person using force to stop another.

Sometimes, such actions are necessary. As a parent of two children I’ve often had to steer them out of a dangerous situation. A toddler doesn’t realize that the oncoming vehicle is dangerous, so pulling them out of the way is for their own good.

At certain times a sort of coercion must happen. But when it’s used it has to be explainable, justifiable, and ultimately something the coerced would agree with if given all the same data.

I’m guilty as any one else of trying to force others to my viewpoint.

It’s easier.

Whether through a stronger argument, witty demeanor, threats, or otherwise; too often we choose the path that gets someone else to do what we want. I’ve made these decisions with loved ones, colleagues, and acquaintances. Maybe we’re tired, maybe we don’t have the capacity to think of another way, but the way of making someone do as we wish has at its core a selfishness.

We just want someone to turn our way, and we dehumanize them when they won’t.

There’s another way, and it’s hard.

We can instead of focus on education, caring, kindness. Instead of condemning another for not getting it, we can spend time showing that we value them, that we wish them well.

So how does this fit practically in daily life? For one, we can look at ways to see how others are seeing a thing. It requires empathy, pausing to understand what someone else must be feeling, and digging into why they might choose differently.

I’m not blind to the fact that too often our world chooses the wrong path here. History itself is defined by violence. But maybe, in little moments here and there, we can show kindness.