Celebrate failure

Years ago, I was leading an engineering team on a complex project. My job was to keep the project on budget, tasks queued up, and collaborate with the client on the work. There was a lot to do, and I was new to the role.

Halfway through the project, I messed up—to the tune of a five-figure mistake for our team. I found the issue myself, dug deep into why it’d happened, and brought all the details to our director. I was terrified; my stomach was in knots, and I had trouble sleeping. I was sure I was going to be let go, but I did everything I could to rescue the project and get it back on track.

We live in a culture where it’s hard to admit when we mess up.

Amidst all the glamor of social media, the posturing at work, and the hierarchy of status in everyday life, there’s so much of what we do that is all about showing off success, and hiding anything that looks less than perfect.

"Look at me.”

"I did awesome. Pay attention here, see my wins.”

"Oh, don’t pay attention to that over there in the corner. Failures are something we ignore.”

It’s important to celebrate wins when everything goes well and numbers are moving up and to the right. This is a good thing, and markedly deserved. When a project goes in the right direction we should pause and savor the moment. It’s something I’m working on more in my own life, recognizing accomplishments and spending time in them; instead of rushing to the next task. Those times spent in appreciation are tiny bits of what make life worth living.

With that said, it’s important to make room for celebrating the failures. Call them learnings, opportunities for growth, wins while screwing up—the point is, we should have room for recognizing when honest mistakes were made. Whether it was a  dumb thing that happened, an unexpected blunder, or an attempt at success that just fell short of the mark—we should take a step back and appreciate that we tried.

Whenever someone steps up in a team and calls out the way they messed up, it helps encourage a mindset of openness and candor. If someone else said it, especially someone at the top of the organization, then it just might mean it’s safe for the rest to speak out as well.

When you’re around people who get excited about the good, as well as the bad, freedom develops. We start to recognize that every result is an opportunity to push forward and grow.

When we blame and criticize the people who messed up, call them out by name, and use them as examples of what not to do, we reinforce the idea that mistakes should be hidden up and only call out whatever would receive praise.

I love when team members share a few things that went well, and then some big or small failures and what they’re doing next to improve.

All of this is markedly different than someone who isn’t a fit in a role, or is blatantly disregarding the team values, or is in it for themselves and doesn’t care about their impact on anyone else.

Any honest mistake, slips, messups, anything that falls in the category of someone having a bad day or just not catching something—all that is generally fine, so long as you see a team member working hard and on an upward trajectory.

Now, back to the project where I messed up and cost the team a bunch of money.

I had a conversation with the director, and instead of being ridiculed or fired, I was offered help to navigate through the budget challenges of the project. Instead of being called out for my mistake, I was told to forget it ever happened and to try my best moving forward.

That had a lasting effect on me.

Leadership trusted me, despite my mistake. They knew it was an honest miscalculation and had my back in moving forward with the client. I ended up working at the place for years, continuing to learn and grow, and was given larger projects to support and lead. I also never made a mistake like that again, ensuring that I had help on the budgeting side of things, which allowed me to focus on supporting the team and working more directly with the client.

I proceeded to make new mistakes, of course, but learned from them each time.